“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (2024)


By Dave Scott

A little more than 60 years ago comedian/singer Allen Sherman wrote and performed a novelty song (“Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!”)https://genius.com/Allan-sherman-hello-muddah-hello-fadduh-a-letter-from-camp-lyricsabout a young Jewish boy who was sent to camp. The parody describes unpleasant, dangerous, and tragic situations, such as fellow campers going missing or contracting deadly illnesses.

Unlike the late Mr. Sherman’s comical ditty there is little comparison between what took place at the fictional Camp Granada and the seriousness of what’s happening at today’s U.S. colleges, including the dismissiveness by timid and complicit university authorities, and the Biden administration’s disgusting pandering to the vile antisemitic rioters.

If Mr. Sherman’s song were altered to reflect the chaos sweeping today’s campuses, the lyrics might read as follows:

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh
Here I am at your alma matah
Your college could be very enlightening
If it wasn’t so dreadfully frightening

Saul and I were going to classes
When crazed protestors jumped our asses
When we regained our senses
We considered jumping these ivy fences

Things here are out of hand
As the thugs are screaming “Go to Poland”
And Jewish students in my dorm sounded alerts
After seeing the faculty dressed in brown shirts

All my professors here are Jew haters
I prefer that school in Florida, with its alligators
Or the one down there filled with Seminoles
Not this one, full of a**holes

Now I don’t want this should scare ya
But Jewish students here are suffering hysterya
We fear what might soon befall us
As the band plays “Deutschland über alles”

Donors say this school’s gone off track
And told its president, who we think’s on crack
To knock it off and ditch the hijabs
Or there’ll be no more checks to pay her tabs

Dearest Faddah, darling Muddah
Warn my precious little bruddah
Not to come here if you love ‘em
Or get him a 38 magnum

Wait a minute, I hear screams and wailing
The cops are here, and the loons are bailing
Getting cuffed and jailed, gee that’s swell
‘Cause mudah, faddah this place is a living hell

I’m going to Fladah, oh muddah, faddah
I’m going to Fladah, because I hate your alma matah
They only scream and yell about an Intifada
So I’m outta here, darling muddah and dear ‘ole faddah

What’s taking place at U.S. colleges, including many of the most elite ones, is support for evil and disdain for morality. Pro-Hamas, Israel-hating students are taking over campuses and disrupting classes and commencement exercises for everyone. They are supported and encouraged by large numbers of faculty members and funded by outside professional agitators.

Alleged students who can’t distinguish between Lichenstein and Palestine or Frankenstein and Gertrude Stein, mindlessly chant Iranian and Palestinian talking points calling for the extermination of Israel and the Jews. They carry professionally designed and mass produced banners and signs and read from cue cards they were issued. In other words, they are mind-numbing morons and dupes of the left and violent Islamists e.g. useful idiots. Is it any wonder why they wear masks?

Fortunately there are exceptions. For example, while liberal-progressive antisemitic pro-Hamas rioters take over college campuses nationwide, Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis directed the Sunshine State’s universities and colleges to make it easier for Jewish students to transfer to Florida.

“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (2)

The state is a safe haven for Jewish students fleeing the insanity of the terrifying antisemitic campuses. Unlike Democrat-led states that declared themselves sanctuaries for law-breaking illegals, Florida, under DeSantis, is a sanctuary for law-abiding residents of all religions, ethnicities, and colors.

On Jan. 9, DeSantis issued an emergency order for the State University System of Florida and the Florida College System directing them to waive certain transfer application requirements that would otherwise hinder Jewish students from transferring from their colleges or universities to one in Florida.

As Jewish students continue to be attacked on campuses from California to New York, no violence or takeovers have occurred at the “encampment-free University of Florida.” Governor DeSantis gave remarks there Wednesday, May 8 condemning campus violence. The university held 21 commencements over the first couple of weeks in May without a single incident, unlike those commencement ceremonies cancelled or disrupted by the Hamas allies and sympathizers in the alleged “elite” institutions.

While presidents of some of what are considered the country’s most prestigious universities refuse to condemn calls on their campuses for genocide and look the other way as demonstrators support Islamist terrorists, Florida’s campuses, including students, are taking a stand against intolerance, and endorsing traditional American values and morality.

“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (3)

Ben Sasse, president of the University of Florida is in total agreement with the governor, condemning “the abhorrent violence and destruction on display across the country’s campuses.” The former Nebraska Republican senator told protestors who violate his school’s policies that they will be “thrown off campus and suspended. “If they’re students that means a three-year prohibition from campus. He’s demonstrated previously that he’s serious about maintaining order and curbing the depravity and hate.

In Florida it doesn’t stop at the universities. The Florida legislature also passed several bills to enhance penalties for those who commit hate crimes against Jews. Over the course of his governorship, DeSantis has invited many people to move to Florida to flee the oppression and discrimination.

After Democratic-led cities and states adopted anti-police policies, the governor and the Florida legislature created a grant program to encourage police officers to relocate to Florida. As of last month, nearly 5,000 new recruits have signed up, including 1,267 from 49 states and U.S. territories, according to the governor’s office.

Serious students are saying “goodbye” to UCLA , Harvard, Columbia, NYU and more, and saying “hello” to Florida State, Miami, Florida, etc. where woke is a joke, ideological indoctrination and ostracization and harassment of students is prohibited, and common sense and traditional American values are flourishing.

(An abridged version of the above column appears in the national BizPacReview atHello muddah, hello faddah! I really hate your alma matah! (bizpacreview.com)


Masks Reveal Who Protestors Really Are:Masks worn by the cowardly nitwits attacking, harassing, and intimidating Jewish students on college campuses are no different than those once worn by the Ku Klux Klan when it attacked blacks. The masks are like neon signs brightly flashing: “I’m an ignorant, bigoted low-life imbecile.”


“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (4)

Meanwhile Back At The Ranch:Newspapers make mistakes. When afaux pashappens legitimate papers admit their blunder, correct it in a future edition, and move on. Not the local bi-polar, oops …. bi-weekly, FernandinaNew Leader. It ignores its mistakes.

The Wednesday May 17 issue of theNews Leaderpublished an obituary of a local resident, with his photograph on page 2. When readers turned to page 5 of the paper they were surprised to see the photo of the deceased once again, this time, ironically, under an opinion piece headlined: “Is it nice to fool mother nature?”

The opinion piece was bylined by a syndicated columnist named Danny Tyree, who, I assume, was as startled as the deceased’s family to see his picture posted on their late relative’s obit.

Following the screw-up, the Wednesday, May 22 issue of the paper added to the confusion by running the gentleman’s obituary again with a different photo, presumably the correct photo of the deceased. There wasn’t an explanation or even an, “Oops, we goofed, and we apologize” offered. There were just two consecutive obituaries with different photos of the deceased and no explanation.

HeyNews Leader, is it nice to try to fool your readers?


Not Newsworthy & Not A Leader: Many people have expressed their disappointment in the FernandinaNews Leader, saying its news coverage is biased, and the paper doesn’t lead in anything, particularly balanced opinions. Recently a reader offered this stinging critique: “First, you need to understand that theNews Leaderis not a newspaper. It may have been at one time, but no longer. The paperusedto report news. Anyone reading it for information these days might as well pull into a gas station and expect the nice man in a crisp white shirt to dash out and pump his gas.


“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (5)

Evil + Stupidity = Danger: Radio/TV commentator, author, and former Chief of Staff to Ronald Reagan’s Attorney General Edwin Meese, Mark Levin, said a few weeks ago: “President Joe Biden isn’t just a ‘buffoon’ but is actually evil.”

What is at stake in this year’s election and that voters will decide is whether ‘evil’ will continue to rule over the White House,” said Levin, adding: “Electing Joe Biden is electing evil.”

Neither Biden or his Secretary of State Anthony Blinken – will admit that the quickest way to end the carnage in the Middle East would be for Hamas to surrender and release all the remaining hostages immediately. With these two White House clowns running things there’s no chance of that happening, or any pressure from them to make it happen. They only call for a ceasefire, which would allow Hamas to re-group, re-arm and prepare for another savagely obscene October 7 slaughter.

Hamas leaders are now hiding in Rafah. Biden said he won’t ship any more arms to Israel if it attacks Rafah. Biden says Israel can attack the enemy anywhere except where it is. It appears Mr. Magoo has reached an advanced stage of stupidity. The election can’t get here fast enough


“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (6)

Garden Street Bistro burger

Drinking, Dining & Dancing:A hamburger-hungry Fat Man From Space was none too pleased with the burger served up at Garden Street Bistro and issued the following alert:

At first glance, the Garden Street Bistro appears to be primarily a breakfast joint. But it wasn’t until I sampled their cheeseburger, that I was absolutely convinced itwasa breakfast joint.

Located on S. 3rd street, their menu features a number of sandwiches and salads and a $17 burger.My first tip off was the selection between “grilled potatoes or tortilla chips” , wait, what? No, French fries? Apparently not. The grilled potatoes were clearly cold leftovers from breakfast hours earlier and were wholly unsatisfying alongside the burger. Am I struggling for something really positive to say about this cheeseburger? Why, yes I am.

I’m positive I’m $23 bucks lighter after enjoying a cold can of sprite alongside my lunch, including a $3.50 tip.

Maybe it was the sweaty dudes with chain saws struggling with chopping down a wooden pergola about 20 feet away. Seeing all the action, the noise, the smoke and excitement of the impending demolition, I opted to take my order back to my spaceship to enjoy. Glad I did. I prefer to suffer in isolation. This cheeseburger had potential, It didn’t, however, have any flavor. A single blade of lettuce, a nearly transparent slice of tomato, American cheese, and something that was like aioli, but devoid of any zingy goodness rounded out the experience. The gray, lifeless “grilled potatoes” remain piled alongside, almost daring me to eat them, mocking me, even.

My spies tell me that the breakfast at the Garden Street Bistro is superb. Awash in mimosa’s. I’m onboard for their French toast or eggs Benedict. Just take it from this spaceman, avoid the urge to drop in for a burger at lunchtime.

Republished with the author’s permission. ReadThe Dave Scott Blog– subscribe Free

The views expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Citizens Journal Florida.

“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh; I Really Hate Your Alma Matuh!” - Citizens Journal Florida (2024)
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